Just Keep At It

As much I really want to be a runner, as much as I was really beginning to like going out for "runs," which for me still means walking/jogging, there is one thing standing in my way: my back. When I was 17, I herniated a disk in my lower back (I'm pretty sure it was the result of a ridiculous contortion that we had to do as part of a ballet dance). I had a lot of pain when it first happened, but with a little bit of physical therapy and a lot of learning to just tolerate it, I got used to it and it really hasn't been a problem. Through college and 2 pregnancies, it hasn't bothered me too much, but then again, I've never tried running.

 About midway through Week 2 of Couch to 5K, I noticed that my back would hurt the morning after I did a run. Unfortunately, as much as I hoped it would, as much as I stretched, warmed up with a walk, cooled down with a walk, took ibuprofen, etc, it just didn't let up. Then, the spasm started. I hadn't had one since I was 17, and I'm hoping I never have one again. If you've never had a back spasm, thank the Good Lord, because they are excruciating and the only thing I've found that makes them stop is good ole' pain killers. This one didn't last long, but it was enough for me to rethink the Couch to 5K until I lose some weight and don't put so much stress on my lower back.

 Otherwise, I've been pretty successful at keeping to better eating habits and exercise. Johnny and I did take a mini-vacation to Fredericksburg last weekend and I ate what I wanted for those 3 days. I was down 5 pounds before we left and gained 3 pounds back, but I know that was mostly water weight and some of it has already come off. We also did a 7 mile hike in Pedernales Falls State Park in the 95 degree heat. Two weeks ago, I don't know if I would have even tried as hard as I did. Mentally, I have so much confidence in my ability to do things that I am overcoming hurdles physically that I would have traditionally used as excuses. I was hot, my muscles were tired, and it was pretty exhausting, but accomplishing that 7 mile hike alongside my husband felt amazing!

 I'm trying really hard to stay organized and on top of my work schedule so that I can plan meals accordingly. Working Zumba classes, which I love, into my schedule is going to be tricky, but with enough planning in advance I know I can make it work. When all else fails, I'll go for a walk, which I suppose is better than doing nothing at all.

 I do get discouraged. I have to remind myself constantly that this isn't about dropping weight quickly or even looking better, it's about FEELING better. It's about spending quality time with my kids having fun and improving my self-confidence. It's about HEALTH, not WEIGHT, and there is no "end goal" for that. So I just continue to take one day at a time, sometimes one meal at a time, and think about how much good I'm doing for myself and my family. For the first time in a long time, this is really clicking for me. I hope when the craziness of the school year gets into full swing, I will have developed enough healthier habits to keep at it even when the unexpected occurs.